Dude, turn it up!
Lee.
- Lee. - What? I'm sleeping.
- Jackie's working out again. - Well, put in the earplugs I got you.
I did. They keep falling out.
Please, Lee? It's so loud.
Can you go over there?
I was just having the most incredible dream.
I can't believe this. You can't put in fucking earplugs.
Fuck yes!
Fuck yeah!
Hey, Jackie!
Fellas?
What's up, Lee?
How's the, uh, workout going?
It's leg day. Not my favorite thing...
but still gotta do it.
Oh, absolutely. You have to do it, right? Ha.
So, hey, I think maybe we've talked about this...
but, um, when you boys are doing your thing...
do you mind keeping the garage doors closed?
My wife, she gets all weird about getting eight hours of sleep.
Me, I can snore through anything.
To tell you the truth, I... I kind of gotta leave it open, man.
Keeps the air fresh in here, you know?
I bet it gets real ripe...
all y'all big boys just sweating everywhere.
But, uh, well, maybe y'all can take it inside then.
- Enjoy the air-conditioning. - Lee...
I think I can do what I want in my own garage, can't I?
Well, of course, Jackie. I'm not saying...
If you want to get technical right now, you're trespassing.
I'm fucking with you, man.
- You were scared - I didn't get scared.
- Yes, you were. Come here. - No, I wasn't.
- Son of a bitch. - Yeah, boy!
- We got a live one! - Please, guys, I can't breathe.
Please, I can't breathe.
- Whoa! Damn! - I can't breathe!
You tried to touch my dick!
- No, I didn't! - You tried to jerk me off.
Why would I touch your dick? I've got my own.
- I didn't try to touch your... - Whatever you say, princess.
Hey, chinks! How you doing over there?
You've been here too long.
You go now.
You go now. Please, go.
Night-night.
Yeah, boy! Welcome to hell, Lee!
Fuck yeah!
Let's keep the line moving. Get your macaroni and cheeses.
Get your cutlery and let's keep the line flowing. Good work.
What's up, Mr. Gamby?
What'd you get up to this weekend?
Hey, it was nice talking to you, Mr. Gamby.
- Miss Snodgrass. - Oh, hey.
Grab a tray and follow me.
- We're gonna skip the line. - Okay.
- Yeah. There's gonna be a fire drill. - Oh.
Yeah. We're not supposed to say it's a drill, but it is a drill.
I didn't want you to be scared.
Oh, thanks, uh, for looking out for me.
Oh, you'd do the same for me.
Hold the line. It's a faculty member.
Back up, back up.
I think she'd like a warm, hot meal.
- Okay. - Thanks, Dayshawn. Yeah.
- Sure. - You got it.
Use all doors, all doors.
Keep moving. The school is on fire!
Slow children burn, smart kids learn!
Find your class, find your teacher, get your ass in line!
Move, move, move!
- Come on! - Like your life depended on it!
Why'd you bring your book bag?
Get in line, goddamn it.
Zip the lips! Straighten the lines right now.
In a real fire, or if a terrorist organization had infiltrated us...
we'd need to be able to identify who's missing...
who's possibly burnt and dead inside the school.
All right, 12 minutes, 46 seconds.
I know that seems like a long time, but it's pretty good for November.
I'm impressed with the organization, but we should...
Hold up for a second. Demetrius Todd!
Demetrius! Phone down now.
How do you expect to hear me if you're yip-yapping on the phone?
- My mom's calling. - I don't care if it's the queen of England.
All right? Put the phone down right now.
Don't you snarl at me. I will smash that phone.
One week detention for that phone.
One week's detention for snarling at me.
Fix the face.
Fix the face right now.
Do you hear me?
Marcus, what's so funny?
Buy a belt and pull your pants up. You look like a flipping circus clown!
Mr. Gamby, how many students...
would you say you suspended last year?
- In school or all the way? - Fifty-one students.
See, you didn't let me guess. I was gonna say 45.
A hundred and eighty-three detentions...
and four expulsions?
These numbers are pretty high.
That might be higher than usual.
We had a pretty mouthy senior class last year.
Do you feel that you get positive results with your method?
Do the kids turn it around when they come back?
The smart ones that have sense do. There's some that...
just have darkness in their heart.
Mr. Gamby, we're gonna try something brand-new.
Flip the script, as it were.
From now on, zero suspensions...
zero detentions, and for damn sure zero expulsions.
Heh. That's pretty much all the tools there are to discipline people.
Kids are gonna run wild. Sounds like a great idea.
We're gonna try a method called restorative justice.
Instead of trying to punish bad behavior, we're gonna bring the offenders together...
give them a non-judgmental space called The Circle Room.
- Miss Swift? - Yes?
Can you look into the price of...
Why don't you look into the pricing for some beanbag chairs...
- a boom box, and... - Okay.
- Oh, a popcorn machine! - Oh, okay!
I can't tell if you're serious or not.
Beanbags and a popcorn machine?
Relax, Mr. Gamby.
This'll be nice for you too.
You won't have to walk around here yelling at everybody.
Don't laugh, Swift. It's not funny.
She can laugh at whatever she wants to.
- Her face is disrespectful... - Put your eyebrows down and calm down.
Thank you.
That's what I...
Are you threatening her?
Nope. This pencil broke.
This goddamn woman.
How dare her try to make me feel...
self-conscious about my fucking record.
I was thinking:
"You know what Lee Russell would do? I bet you money he'd haul back...
and smack the fuck out of her face." You know what? I almost did it.
- Are you serious? - I couldn't believe it.
Done with her shit.
You're complaining...
about Belinda Brown being mean to you.
Yeah. I'm just so sick of it.
- Ow! Russell, what... - You did this, you piece of shit!
We had her dead to rights...
on the fucking ropes and you just pussied out!
We should've taken her out...
and now we're worse off than when we started, Gamby.
Where's my fucking cigarette?
I think that that's an unfair assessment of the situation.
If you ask me, you know, it's been mild success.
You know, I have...
I have a lot of dark shit going on...
in my life right now, Gamby, and I could really use a...
- And you don't even fucking care! - Yes, I do, Russell.
- We're partners. - No, we're not partners.
Fuck this partnership.
I'm gonna get me a new partner.
Someone who will actually help me get things done.
Someone who's not a fucking little pussy!
- A fucking little pussy? - A hairy, mustached pussy!
That's what you think I am? I burned her house down.
No, you didn't! I set that fire and you ran!
You're just a... A fat-ass...
narcissistic, selfish fucking oaf is what you are.
- With a stupid haircut and ears! - That's enough!
- Don't touch me! - Don't sit there and insult me!
I'm sick and tired of you railing on me.
There's shit about you I think is disgusting! Your whiny voice.
You're just a hysterical bitch!
You know what? You got such problems with me?
Fuck you. I'm done with you.
- Oh, it's done. Oh, it is done. - Yeah.
It wasn't a fucking question. It was rhetorical.
I'm done with you up to here!
Right up to here! It's over!
Fuck this!
- It's done! - Because I said it's done!
I said it was done!
I said it was done first.
You just repeat everything I say, you mockingbird.
Oh, I'll say something you haven't said.
I hope you die, bitch!
You're already dead. You're already fucking dead.
You're just saying that.
I'm alive, I'm standing here. You're dead because you're walking away.
Fuck you! You're dead!
I'll see you in fucking hell someday!
Keep walking, sassy-pants. Pfft.
Fine, Russell! Leave!
You bitch!
You dumb bitch!
Russell, do you have your...? Your walkie on? Come back.
Russell, come back, man. Look, we can... Let's talk about it.
Maybe things got out of hand there for a second.
It's Jackie again.
When is it my time, Christine?
When do I just get to relax?
Please...
Mi-Cha, Mi-Cha, let other people talk.
All right, I'm fed up. I'm fed up! I warned him.
You step to me, this is what you get!
Yes, this is Lee Russell...
and I'd like to report a disturbance.
No, not in my house. Next door.
Who's got the muscles now, dickhead?
I do. That's who.
You don't want to tussle With Lee Russell
'Cause I have the muscle
Busted I'm busted by Lee Russell
I'm busted
Busted by Lee Russell
Who put the Po-Po in your ho-ho?
Lee Russell, that's who
You're busted
You're busted by Lee Russell
And you're busted
Put that in your fucking boom box and play it.
Aaron Jeffries, you better be glad that Travis Knight is still alive.
If you clipped him in the right part...
it would have been murder one, and you are tried as an adult.
So now, this belongs to me.
An infraction like this makes sure you don't get into college.
But I don't imagine you'll go to college anyway.
You're a goddamn idiot like your brother was.
It's the truth. You and your brother...
are the dumbest cousin fuckers I've ever met.
Understand? Good.
Circles is done.
Okay, that's not exactly how we're gonna do things here...
so let's back it up.
Now, why don't you begin the discussion in a polite manner?
What, like do it for fake?
Talk to them with some respect, like equals.
You set the tone here.
Why don't you ask Aaron...
what Travis said that made him so upset.
Fine. Go.
He asked me how his dick tastes.
Okay. Uh, why was it important...
for you to know that?
Because I used to date Megan, and now he dates Megan.
So I was like, "How's my dick taste?"
I'm not sure what we're trying to figure out here.
Is this what Circles is like?
We sit on beanbags and discuss the flavor of boys' penises?
Perhaps. This is the beginning.
You guys were being honest.
Now, why don't you ask Travis if he's hurt...
that Aaron is now seeing Megan.
Are you hurt because they're boyfriend and girlfriend?
Pfft. Shit.
I don't know.
Maybe.
I think it's time for some popcorn.
- You guys do Shampoo? - Yeah.
I'd be the perfect Warren Beatty.
Yeah, you could! You could do that.
- Oh, hi, Gamby. - Hi, Neal.
Didn't see you around much today, Russell.
I've been here. Not really sure what you've been doing.
- We're about to get haircuts. - Haircuts.
Yeah. Seychelles knows a very gifted barber.
He does the whole thing with scissors, never clippers at any time.
- At any time. - Big deal.
Mine does the same thing.
You got... You got a nice haircut.
- Everything all right? - Everything's great.
- You didn't wait long. - I'm not really sure what you're talking about.
Do whatever you want. I don't care.
Interesting choice.
Don't you have anything better to do than stand around...
just bothering people like a gnat?
Just a Zzz-Zzz. Flying around, everywhere.
- Zzz-Zzz. - Stop.
Get out of here. I have plenty to do.
I'm about to achieve my goals, but you have fun...
- with the Fine Arts Department. - I will.
- Good. I hope you do. - Oh, I am.
- Then do it. I don't care. - Oh, I will.
Great. Fantastic. Never see you again.
Never talk to you again in my life.
What is going on right now?
Nothing. He's just being a freak.
Come on, Seychelles.
- You're being a little freak. - You are.
You are being a freak.
- Do I look like Warren Beatty? - Out of the corner of my eye.
Ha-ha! I've slept with almost...
- as many women as he has. - Oh, yeah?
Oh, Mexico.
- Oh, taco. - Howdy, neighbor.
Oh, Jackie. Hello.
Hello, Mi-Cha.
Saw you guys walk in when I drove by.
Thought this might be a good chance for us to chat.
About what?
Oh, Lee told me you haven't been sleeping so well lately.
Only when you guys go really late. Usually it's not that bad.
I guess you're not used to the noises that men make...
when they're strengthening their bodies now, are you?
Okay, speak English! None of that bing-Ba bullshit.
- I don't wanna hear it. - Ugh. Okay.
I don't have time to chat right now.
Some neighborly advice.
Don't call the cops on me again.
I hate cops.
Okay, we have to go.
Oh, one more thing.
You should try smiling more. It'd make your face look a lot better.
Just saying.
Well, I'm sure you're blowing it out of proportion.
It's a small town. Who cares?
You were both in a grocery store.
It's not like he followed you.
He said he saw me in the parking lot and followed me in.
Did you get a new haircut?
Yes. I did.
With a friend. Who cares?
Concentrate on what you're fucked up about...
- and ruining my evening with. - He's mad that you called the police.
I don't know what he's gonna do, Lee.
Mi-Cha's upset.
You should go apologize.
I literally just walked in the door, Christine.
My feet are killing me.
Fine.
Fine!
Fucking bitch.
Agh! Fuck yeah!
Jackie!
Hey, you got a sec?
What?
Jackie, I just... I want to clear the air here.
I... I didn't mean to piss you off...
about the whole noise business.
It was... It was just a suggestion.
And... And I understand that the...
The cops came out here the other night.
Well, Jackie, I didn't have anything to do with that.
But here's the thing.
Christine said that you were being a little aggressive with her today.
I know. I'm married to her.
I... Trust me, I know she tends to exaggerate.
You are a real piece of work with your complaints, you know that?
You think I like living next door to you?
The other day, I caught your mother-in-law...
digging through my trash.
Your wife's cooking, the smell of that Dink cuisine...
that comes in every other night!
Okay, okay. That's enough with that talk.
- Let's leave my wife out of this. - Your wife.
Wow. That's a laugh.
Tell me, what skin magazine did you order her from?
I said that's enough.
Stay off my property, Lee.
I won't warn you again.
Go home.
I warned you.
But you had to test me.
Night-night, termite.
Gamby.
You okay?
You seem tense.
Wound up.
No, I'm chill.
Looking forward to going in...
and not punishing kids for a day.
You can't be coming up in the school with all this negative energy, Gamby.
I don't know what you mean. I don't have negative energy.
Okay, you know a trick I used to use when I was feeling overwhelmed?
I would park in the furthest spot in the lot...
and on that long walk back, I would ease my mind...
and adjust my attitude.
That sounds like a really cool technique. I'll remember that next time.
I want you to give it a shot.
You want me to park at the end of the lot?
I want you to adjust your attitude.
See? How's that?
- Fine. Great. Thank you. - Mm-hm.
Where did you get that scarf?
- In a catalog. - In a catalog.
They don't have that kind of thing right here, do they?
Pfft. Look at those stupid haircuts.
Russell makes his face look fat and bloated.
And Seychelles, heh, a lump on a log.
Yeah, it is a fucked up haircut.
- Hey, are you all right, Mr. Gamby? - I'm fine.
I just think it's hilarious how many people aren't fine.
Let me ask you a question...
- and be honest with me. - Go for it.
Are you fucking Mr. Russell?
Am I what-ing Mr. Russell?
I'm not here to judge you about gay sex.
You make a cute fucking couple.
Plus y'all go off in the woods all the time.
First of all, I am not G, Dayshawn.
Second of all, I never go off into the goddamn woods.
Everyone knows that.
I saw you take your ass off in them woods yesterday.
Fine. I went into the woods yesterday.
I forgot about that. That was the only time I've been.
Russell wasn't there. I was there by myself.
No wonder you're sad. You're just heartbroken.
Mind your own fucking business.
Get the trash and get out of here.
Stop accusing me of fucking men in the woods.
Hang in there, Mr. Gamby.
You're an idiot, Dayshawn.
I'd never fuck that man.
What a jerk. Why not call the cops?
I've already tried! They can't do shit.
Honestly, I'm thinking about just getting a gun and shooting him.
Go down to ISS, throw a quarter at one of them, get them to do it.
- Whoa, Lee. - Well, I'm not for real.
Jesus.
It just sucks. What would you do...
if your big, muscular neighbor was harassing you?
Muscles? Does he look like a bodybuilder?
Well, not like big, bulging muscles.
Don't get me wrong, he's strong.
He works out and looks good in a tank top.
So big, country muscles.
Sort of like an old-school wrestler build?
Well, I guess.
I wouldn't call him ripped or anything, he's just beefy.
He doesn't have a lot of definition.
Okay. Seems like he's got farm strength.
What's going on in his tricep area?
See any raised triceps?
Jesus. Enough with the fucking muscles.
You're hung up on the wrong details.
You brought up muscles first.
Don't turn this around on me. Stop being a cunt.
Excuse me?
- What's up? - What did you just call me?
- Did I say something? - C-word.
- I didn't say anything. - C-word.
You're...
We just need to keep walking and burn some calories. Come on.
There is nothing that disgusts me more...
than a female who cheats.
It can be on a husband or on a math test.
It's all equally disgusting to me.
I want each of you to tell me where you think...
you're gonna be in five years...
and how cheating on this math test will help you get there.
- Tracy Parks, we'll start with you. - I don't know.
You don't have to know. Just make a goddamn guess.
Make something up, okay?
Can I get some more popcorn?
You want some more popcorn?
Girls, more popcorn? Are you hungry?
Yeah? Great. I'll go get it for you.
More popcorn from the popcorn machine.
How about this?
How about this? Fucking popcorn.
Want popcorn? There's more for you.
There's some for you.
Take all the fucking popcorn you want to eat!
Popcorn!
You think there's popcorn and beanbags in the real world?
There's not. The real world is full of meanness and shit!
And you girls are just gonna grow up to add to it.
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that.
I just got my own things going on in my life. Doesn't have anything to do with you.
Are you okay, Mr. Gamby?
I'm just feeling depressed, feeling remorse...
feeling some hopelessness.
Thank you, Beth.
I was just working on a project with a business associate of mine.
I thought we were working on some pretty important stuff.
Then he pussied out and bailed on me.
Now I'm left to do the project all by myself.
And it's hard.
It's hard to do it alone.
I keep getting beat down...
and now the whole entire school is crumbling.
Why did your associate leave?
Well, he said that I was messing up the business partnership...
because I didn't have his back.
Well, did you?
I mean, to be honest, yes.
I did have certain questions about his tactics...
but, come on, we're both professionals.
We're obviously gonna have different approaches to things.
Maybe you should just talk to him. Explain how you feel.
I'd like to, but this man in question is very mean-spirited.
But you'll never know unless you try.
- Did you just make that up? - I guess.
It just kind of came to me.
It's pretty good. You should sign up for Creative Writing.
I'll be right back.
- Miss Swift, where's Russell? - I haven't seen him.
Jackie!
That's right, motherfucker! I'm on your property now!
You disrespect me, you disrespect my wife...
and I told you before to keep this fucking...
down!
Keep it down! Ah!
Just keep it down! Ah!
Down! Keep it...
down!
Now, enough is enough.
Now, I don't want to have to hurt you.
Are you fucking serious right now, you little bitch?!
I told you to stay off my property! I'm in my rights!
Hey! That's enough right there.
Step away from Mr. Russell.
Leave him alone now.
Gamby?
Who the fuck are you, his boyfriend?
No, his regular friend.
If you keep kicking him, you and I are gonna have to talk it out.
What are you gonna talk to me about, motherfucker?
My feelings.
Russell.
Holy shit.
Gamby. Ungh!
You okay?
Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay.
I owe you an apology.
- I haven't been the best business partner. - Business partner?
You know, partner in the partnership.
You know what I'm trying to say.
I'm willing to try harder.
It's just been a long time since I've been in a partnership...
of any nature with anybody...
and I've forgotten how to do it.
I don't want to take Belinda Brown down myself. I don't think I could.
To be honest, Gamby...
I had all my own shit going on over here, and it's just been fucking me all up.
I lashed out at you, and I'm sorry.
What about Seychelles?
Oh, please. Fuck that fucking fruitcake.
- Fuck that whole Fine Arts Department. - Fuck the Fine Arts Department.
Partnership back on?
Re-engaged.
Those brass knuckles were the real deal. Did you confiscate them?
Yep. Aaron Jeffries, sophomore.
Can I see them?
- Yeah. - Oh, my God. Lee!
- What is going on? - What do you think's going on?
- I fucking handled shit. - Did you do this?
Yes, baby, I did.
Yeah.
Mi-Cha, watch this.
- Ah! - Ooh!
Sleep, motherfucker!
Whoo!
Good job, Russell!